Real Life Story of "Endilie Yacop Sucipto" in his own words.
I turned 21 years old this year. Yesterday, I found out that I have cancer. I wanted to share my story so that at least everyone can be more aware of cancer and see life in a more meaningful way.
At the start of the academic year, I went to the gym with my roommate Wendy Wijaya to do some exercises. The next day, I felt pain on both of my shoulders, but I ignored it because I believed that it was a completely normal feeling considering it was my first training in quite a long time. At this point of time, I could still lift not-so-heavy things, and I even remembered being able to go to go to COMEX to buy a laptop with Eric, Wendy, Victor, Abong, Hagi and others.
Few weeks had passed, the pain on my right shoulder was completely gone, but strangely the pain on the left side of my shoulder gradually worsened, although there is no blueness or noticeable swelling. Unfortunately, I still ignored it.
The pain worsened. It was really painful especially at night. I reached a point where I couldn’t even lift my arm straight parallel to the ground, scratching my back, etc. On 22nd September, I went to NTU Clinic, Fullerton Health to check my condition and I did an X-ray on my left shoulder. As disappointing as it was, I received the result 6 days later, on 28th September. I was then urgently referred to go to NUH Orthopaedic Surgery Specialist, because the doctor was suspicious of me having a bone cancer. I was made an appointment to NUH the next day.
On 29 September, I went alone to the doctor at NUH. Doctor told me to go for another X-ray because the previous result from NTU was quite unclear. The doctor noticed that there is no fracture or dislocation, but he’s very suspicious on why can’t I lift my arm or have any strength on my shoulder (I have strength on my fingers). I was scheduled for another urgent MRI Scan for my shoulder the next Monday (2 October 2017).
On 2 October, I went to NUH for an MRI scan on my left shoulder. The MRI scan was exactly like how usually people with the very serious disease will undergo; it looks like those in the movies. During this process, it looked to me that there is something completely wrong. I even had to get injected with a contrast agent for my MRI because they wanted to see the insides of my shoulder more clearly. The way those people looked at me was different; it was a pity. At my head, it was like “I guess this is it, I’m ready to go”. I’ve always prepared for the possibility of being diagnosed with cancer since meeting the doctor at NTU. I thought it was God’s will, and if I have to go, I will go.
Yesterday, 6th October, is probably one of the most important days in my life. I’ve called my mother to come from Indonesia to accompany me for the MRI result and thus we went to see the doctor on that day. I still remember that day clearly, I went inside to the room with my Mom. My mom even said “Hopefully there is no bad news”.
“I’m afraid to say that I have bad news ….” said by the doctor. Upon hearing this line, I know it was coming, I wish that day was a dream. “You have a bone cancer on your left shoulder, Osteosarcoma”. I completely stopped for a moment, wishing again that it is still a dream. I tried to pinch myself to wake up from this dream, but it was not a dream. I tried to hold my tears, but I couldn’t. I cried for a moment and then began asking common questions like: “How bad is it, what is the stage?”, “How long do I have left, do I have at least another month?”, “What is my survival rate ?”. Unfortunately the doctor said that he didn’t know, I had to get further diagnosis because there’s a chance that it has spread to other parts of my body like my lungs. I’m also referred to go to NUH Musculoskeletal/ Hand Surgery department because they understand more about this rare type of cancer. I have scheduled appointments on the 9th and 10th of October for various other scans, like MRI, CT, and bone scan. I was given a sling as well as the bone on the left side of my shoulder is fractured due to the cancer.
I initially accepted the situation, despite crying. I was ready to spend the remaining time of my life without going for treatment, because I know that the cost will be extremely high and I don’t want to burden my family furthermore. I believed that this is already God’s will and I’m completely grateful for being alive for at least 21 years. I had given up on my life.
However, after seeing how my families and even the Doctor who cried and told me to not give up, I could see a glimpse of hope. I will fight this battle and survive. I prayed to God deep in my heart to not take my life now, as I believe that I had an important mission: I want to make at least my family happy and proud of me before I go. I want to recover fast and be successful in the future. I still have a dream, I will recover. I will choke the cancer to death if I could by going through the surgery and chemotherapy.
For now, I can only pray, do my best and leave the rest to God. I hope that my cancer has not spread to other parts of my body, still in its early stage, and I can survive this storm.
At my end, I will do my best to live and not give up. I still want to recover, finish my education and pursue my dream, God willing.
I will update all of you again after further diagnosis.
Dear Quorans, please cherish your life and take care.
Update 1 (8 October 2017 8:50 AM GMT+7):
Thank you, everyone, for your prayers and support. Today, I woke up stronger knowing that there are so many supportive persons out there. I’m sorry that I couldn’t reply your message/comment one-by-one, but I will make sure to try and read every single of it. You guys have given me hope, and I must not let you all down. It’s not the end of the world yet, I will surely fight and survive. Everything will be just alright.
Some people have told me to start a crowdfunding, and deep from my heart I really appreciate it. But currently, your prayers and support are enough for me. I have yet to know how much will all of it cost and how worse is my condition. Thank you for the thoughts, sincerely from my heart
Our Best Wishes With Him!