How long do couples wait to get intimate in an arranged marriage?


Here is the personal experience on how long do couples wait to get intimate in an arranged marriage.

It took us eight months.

Yes, you read it right. It took us eight months after marriage before we had our first sex.

It was a typical arranged marriage. Set up by our families. Before marriage, she had been in a relationship which broke up because the guy cheated on her. She had been physically intimate with her boyfriend and just couldn’t accept the fact that he had cheated on her.

She, however, told this to me only after marriage. She told that she would require time to get over her past. I accepted as I felt she must have been going through a lot.

During our honeymoon one month after marriage I tried to initiate by giving her a kiss. But she said she was not ready yet. No sex during the honeymoon.


I gave her time to recover from her past. I cooked when she was ill by taking days off from office. I cared thoroughly for her and waited until she felt the time was right. I took her out almost every fortnight to some nearby getaway place. But never forced sex. Never had sex.

As days passed she trusted me. She began reciprocating her feelings. She became chirpy, smiling and jolly. She became a different person. She truly accepted me as her husband.

During all these days, I felt deprived of sex. I felt frustrated. I felt sad and angry. I wanted to have sex with her but controlled my feelings and emotions. I knew she wasn’t ready. I never showed my displeasure towards her.

And finally after almost eight months after our marriage, well .suddenly after I wished her goodnight (yes, I wished her goodnight every night before we slept) she held me, hugged me and gave me a long kiss. I knew instinctively that was the moment. Her eyes and shy smile said it all, that she was ready. The next few moments that I had with her was just heavenly for me. I was a virgin guy till then.

We recently celebrated our first anniversary and she wanted us to relive our first night which we missed out because of not knowing each well. It was wonderful as well. Yes, it did take us a long time but it was worth the wait.

For all of you going into arranged marriages, do not rush into sex. Take your time, know each other, care for each other, give time to each other. It will be worth the wait.


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